Tattoos, Tell-tales and Terrible, Terrible Twins


If this is fun, I’m Kylie Minogue. Dad’s long-lost brother is coming to stay – cue hugs and everyone living happily ever after… Turns out that Uncle Joe comes complete with witchy wife and evil, pet-torturing twins – who set out to annoy all my friends, scare off my not-quite-boyfriend and generally ruin my life!

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The story behind the dedications
“For the real Colin (and his real three legs) and Derek (a real cat-that-isn’t-Colin)” Colin and Derek were my neighbours’ cats (till we moved round the corner). Derek has now gone to the great cat basket in the sky, but I still pop round and visit Colin. (To see the real Colin’s very own website, check out: